商務英語之自我介紹練習與講解Self-introduction
原:
I am Peter and I am male, and I was born 1979. I graduated in Nanjing. And I am/my major is International Trading. As to my favorites, I love the sports for football game and basketball. When I am university, I hope to have a healthy body. But for long time, I didn’t play these games.
As to my career schedule, now I am a SOHO, however, I hope to expand my business, for example, I want to attend the fair in Canton, if possible, I hope to attend the fare in Frankford. About my products range of business, there are Christmas Lighting and Steel and Toys, plush toys and so on. Ok, thank you. 修改:
My name is Peter, male. And I was born in 1979. I graduated from a university in Nanjing. My major was International Trading. As to my hobbies, I love sports. Like football and basketball. I believed that exercise can keep me healthy. However, I didn’t keep it for a long time since a lot of reasons.
Regarding to my career,I tried several kinds of jobs after my graduation, and now I am a SOHO. Recently, I planned to expand my business. For this purpose, I hope I can attend the fare in Canton and in Frankford, if possible. My product range includes Christmas Lighting, Steel and Plush Toys and so on.
Thank you.
句句修改講解:
1. I am Peter and I am male, and I was born 1979.
My name is Peter, male. And I was born in 1979.be born in 出生于不都用I 開頭說話,會顯得更加自然。And的頻率降低。
2. I graduated in Nanjing.
I graduated from a university in Nanjing.graduated from 畢業于從南京畢業在外國人開來有點奇怪,作為graduate的賓語用學校比較好。
3. And I am/my major is International Trading.
My major was International Trading.降低and的頻率。過去的專業,用was過去式。
4. As to my favorites, I love the sports for football game and basketball. When I am university, I hope to have a healthy body. But for long time, I didn’t play these games.
As to my hobbies, I love sports. Like football and basketball. I believed that exercise can keep me healthy. However, I didn’t keep it for a long time since a lot of reasons.
Favorite有愛好的意思,但是更偏向于指偏愛或者是記事本。愛好通常用hobby。
I love the sports for foot ball game and basketball, 中式英語。句型混亂。
When I am university中am要換成was過去式,When I was in university.
整句When I am university, I hope to have a healthy body. 中式英語。聽著很奇怪。直接說我從前相信運動使人健康。下句同樣的問題。
5. As to my career schedule, now I am a SOHO, however, I hope to expand my business, for example, I want to attend the fair in Canton, if possible, I hope to attend the fare in Frankford.
Regarding to my career,I tried several kinds of jobs after my graduation, and now I am a SOHO. Recently, I planned to expand my business. For this purpose, I hope I can attend the fare in Canton and in Frankford, if possible.
關于的表達有很多,不要過于單一都用as to,要換換。職業生涯直接career。建議在現在工作之前加上之前的'工作經歷一帶而過。使內容更充實一點。However是表示轉折的,但是這個句子里不需要轉折。Recently最近。 Hope的用法注意不好直接hope to do。Hope后面加人稱或者that從句?梢允 最近我計劃擴展事業。 注意expand的讀法。這里的p濁化為b的音。加上For this purpose作為前后銜接。Canton和Frankford展會合并主謂,更加簡潔。
語調注意點:
1. 盡量少用口氣次:嗯。。。
2. 注意語音語調:一句話中重要信息要著重突出。
3. 注意時態。
4. 積累詞組,積累銜接詞。注意中式英語的改善。
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