英文的笑話
1、
A guy says to his friend, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket."
The friends says, "If I guess right, will you give me one of them?"
The first guys says, "If you guess right, I'll give you both of them!"
路人甲對路人乙說，"猜猜我兜里有幾個子兒?"
路人乙說："我猜對了，你能給我一個不?"
路人甲說："你要猜對了，我兩個全部給你!"
2、
A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on average only 15000 words a day, whereas women use 30000 words a day. She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.
He said, "What?"
丈夫給妻子看了一項調查結果，為了向她證明女人比男人啰嗦。研究表明男人平均每天使用15000個字，而女人每天使用30000個。
妻子想了一會兒說，女人每天說的字數是男人的兩倍，因為她們必須重復已經說過的話。
他問："什么?"
3、
Boy: Is this seat empty?
Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
男孩：這個座位是空的么?
女孩：是的.，如果你坐下，我的座位也將是空的。
4、
"Tom, what's the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "He's crying."
"Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I'm eating my cake. He is crying because I won't give him any."
"But has he finished his own cake?"
"Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that."
"湯姆，你弟弟怎么了?" 媽媽在廚房里問。"他在哭。"
"沒事兒，媽媽，" 湯姆答道。"我在吃我的蛋糕。他哭是因為我不給他吃。"
"他已經吃完自己的了么?"
"是的。" "我幫他吃完時，他也哭了。"
5、How much English can you speak?
"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English."
The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"
The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"
中文翻譯
"法官先生，我的當事人被指控偷竊，這是多么不公正啊。他一周前才來到紐約，幾乎不認路。而且，他只會說幾個英語單詞。"
法官看了看被告，問道："你會說多少英文?"
被告抬起頭，說："把你的錢包給我!"
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