短篇英語笑話大全爆笑
A man has a long history of stealing cars. When he did it again, he was caught by the police.
The prosecutor asked him, "Now tell the court how you came to take that car." To defend himself, the man said, "The car was parked by a cemetery. I thought the owner was dead, and then I took it."
有個人有長期偷車的經歷。當他又一次偷車時，被警察抓住了。檢控官對他說：“現在要告訴法庭你是怎樣偷走這部車的。”
檢察官問他，“現在據實交代你為何要偷這輛車。”這個人為自己辯解說：“這部車是停在一個墓地旁的。我以為車主已經死了，就把它開走了。”
Three competing store owners rented adjoining(毗連的) shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem(故意的`傷害罪，蓄意的破壞) to ensue.
三個互相爭生意的商店老板在一條商業街上租用了毗鄰的店鋪，旁觀者等著瞧好戲。
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, Gigantic Sale! and Super Bargains!
右邊的零售商掛起了巨大的招牌，上書：大減價!特便宜!
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, Prices Slashed! and Fantastic Discounts!
There’s a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, "Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a mad man driving the wrong way on Route 280!"
一位年長的市民在高速路上行駛。他的妻子給他打電話，擔心地說：“赫爾曼，小心啊! 我剛剛在收音機上聽到有個瘋子在280公路上逆行!”
Herman says, "I know, I’m on Route 280 but there isn’t just one, there are hundreds!"
赫爾曼說：“我知道，我就在280公路上呢! 可是這兒不只有一個瘋子啊，有上百個呢!”
The kids have slept through the night!They were so easy that I took the liberty of dozing off myself.It is just so great babysitting for you guys.
孩子們今晚睡的很好，他們很快就睡了，我就自己去睡了。能給你們做保姆太棒了。
In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing(吼叫) baby. The gentleman kept repeating softly, "Don't get excited, Albert; don't scream, Albert; don't yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert."
A woman standing next to him said, "You certainly are to be commended(稱贊，表揚) for trying to soothe(安慰) your son, Albert."
The man looked at her and said, "Lady, I'm Albert."
一個人在超市里推著購物車，一個小孩子在車里不停的大吵大叫。推車的男人一直溫柔地念叨著：”別激動，阿爾伯特，別嚷出來，阿爾伯特，別叫，阿爾伯特，冷靜，阿爾伯特。"
站在他旁邊的一位女士對他說道：“您能這樣安慰您的兒子阿爾伯特真的讓我們感到很不容易。”
男人看著那位女士說：“太太，我是阿爾伯特”。
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