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長篇的英語笑話帶翻譯話（精選10個）
英語笑話是指以一句英文短語或一個英文故事讓說話者和聽者之間覺得好笑，或是產生幽默感，笑話是一種經過藝術加工的語言形式,是藝術化的語言，笑話是一種藝術方法，用這種方法造成以笑為藝術手段的文學藝術作品。下面是小編精心整理的長篇的英語笑話帶翻譯話，希望能夠幫助到大家。
長篇的英語笑話帶翻譯話 1
Who is Stupid
A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks youre stupid, stand up!"
Little Johnny then stood up.
The teacher said, "Do you think youre stupid, Johnny?"
"No, maam, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
誰愚蠢
一個老師在對學生們講心理學，“誰認為自己蠢就站起來?”她一開始就說。
小約翰尼站了起來。
“你認為你很蠢嗎，小約翰尼?”老師問。
“不是的，老師，我只是不喜歡看你一個人站著。”
長篇的英語笑話帶翻譯話 2
Good intentions
One day a boy came to his teacher and said:"Teacher，my dad wants to know if you like roast pig.”
"I certainly do，”said the teacher, "And you tell your father he is very kind to think of me.”
Days passed，and nothing more was said about the roast pig.
Finally the teacher said to the boy，“I thought your father was going to send me over some roast pig.”
"Yes，"said the boy，“He did intend to，but the pig got well.”
良好的'心愿
一天有個男孩去對他老師說:“老師，我爸想知道你是不是愛吃烤豬肉�！�
“當然口，”老師說，“去告訴你父親，多謝他想著我�！�
好幾天過去了，男孩再沒提起烤豬肉的事兒。
最后老師對男孩說:“我以為你父親要給我送點烤豬肉來呢�！�
“是啊，”孩子說，“他是這么想的，可后來豬病好了�！�
長篇的英語笑話帶翻譯話 3
How Did You Ever Get Here
One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. "It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two."
The boss eyed him suspiciously. "Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?"
"I finally gave up," he said, "and started for home."
你是怎樣來的?
一個冬天的早晨，一名雇員解釋他為什么遲到了四十五分鐘才起來上班�！巴饷嫣耍颐肯蚯斑~一步，就要向后退兩步�！�
老板狐疑地看著他�！班蓿菃�?那你是怎樣到這里來的.?”
“后來我決定放棄，”他說，“然后我就往家里走�！�
長篇的英語笑話帶翻譯話 4
A Vacation Cruise
One stupid guy reads an ad about a vacation cruise that costs only $ 100.After he signs up and pays, the travel agent hits him with a bat, knocks him unconscious and throws him out the back door into the river. Soon another guy comes in, pays his fee and gets the same treatment.
Fifteen minutes later, as the two are floating down the river together, the first man says, "I wonder if theyre serving any food on this cruise."
"I don t know, the second guy replied. "They didnt last year."
假日巡航游
一愚笨之人讀到一則假日巡航游只須花100元的廣告。在他簽了字付了款后，旅游經紀人用棒猛擊了他一下，把他打昏了過去，并把他從后門扔進了河里。不久又來了一個人，付了錢并得到了相同的待遇。
十五分鐘后，這兩個人一起向河的下游漂去。第一個人說：“不知道他們這次巡航游是否提供食物�！�
“不知道，”第二個人說道，“去年是沒有的.�！�
長篇的英語笑話帶翻譯話 5
Clever Bobby
Brown was very proud of his young son. Once he was talking to a visitor, telling the man how clever his son was.
"The boy is only two years old," he said, "and knows all animals. Hes going to be a great naturalist. Here, let me show you."
He took a book of natural history from the bookshelf, placed Bobby on his knee, opened the book and showed him a picture of a giraffe.
"Whats that, Bobby?"
"Horsey," said Bobby. Next of a tiger was shown, and Bobby said, "Pussy." Then Brown showed Bobby a picture of lion, and Bobby said, "Doggy." And when a picture of a chimpanzee was shown, Bobby said, "Daddy!"
聰明的博比
布朗非常欣賞他的小兒子。一次他和一位客人聊他的兒子有多聰明。 布朗說：“他只有兩歲，就認識所有的動物了。他長大一定會是一個出色的自然學家。來，我讓你看看�！�
布朗說：“他只有兩歲，就認識所有的動物了。他長大一定會是一個出色的自然學家。來，我讓你看看。”
他從書架上拿下一本自然書，把博比抱到膝上，打開書。指著一張長頸鹿的畫片。
“博比，這是什么?”
“馬馬，”博比回答。 他又指了一張老虎的畫片，博比回答說：“貓咪。” 然后布朗又指了一張獅子的.畫片，博比說：“狗狗。” 他又指了一張黑猩猩的畫片，博比說：“爸爸!”
長篇的英語笑話帶翻譯話 6
Speeding
Traveling salesmen make their living visiting as many customers as possible. So speeding to get from one appointment to the next is not unheard-of. Which is how I got pulled over by a highway patrolman. "Dont you ever look at the speedometer?"
the officer scolded. Before I knew it, the truth spilled from my mouth. "As fast as I was going," I admitted, "I was afraid to take my eyes off the road."
超速
因為旅行推銷員為了謀生需要拜訪盡量多的客戶，所以超速飛車趕場對于他們來說也不是沒有過的事情。有一次我就因為超速度行駛被一個公路巡警攔了下來�！澳阌袥]有看過你的時速表？”那名警官責問。
當我的回答一出口，我立刻后悔了，但已經太晚了。“車開得越來越快”，我如實地說，“我的眼睛得一直盯著前面，沒敢看別的'”。
長篇的英語笑話帶翻譯話 7
Computer problem
I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packards DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldnt solve.
She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges， and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked.
I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new ideas.
After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of yellow paper?"
電腦問題
我在惠普公司打印機部做技術支持工作已經有一個月了，有一天我接到一位客戶的電話，她的問題我沒辦法解決。
她的`問題是：打印機不能打出來黃色，但是其它顏色都正常。這讓我覺得很納悶，因為三原色就是藍、紅、黃。我建議客戶更換墨盒、刪了驅動程序然后重新安裝，但是都沒有效果。咨詢同事們，他們也不知道該怎么辦。
兩個多小時的交涉，我打算讓客戶把打印機寄給我們，這時候她平靜地說了一句：“我是不是應該把這張黃紙扔了換一張白紙再打印試試�！�
長篇的英語笑話帶翻譯話 8
Meals for stingy people
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "Youre not coming empty-handed, are you?"
吝嗇鬼的餐會
一個聲名狼藉的小氣鬼終于決定要請一次客了。他在向一個朋友解釋怎么找到他家時說：“你上到五樓，用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了后，再用你的腳把門推開�！�
“為什么我要用我的.肘和腳呢?”
“天哪!” 吝嗇鬼回答，“你總不會空著手來吧?”
長篇的英語笑話帶翻譯話 9
They were brought directly from the United States
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
它們是從美國直接帶來的
一位中國老婦人在美國看望女兒回來不久，到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的'美元。在銀行柜臺，銀行職員認真檢查了每一張鈔票，看是否有假。
這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩，最后實在忍耐不住說：“相信我，先生，也請你相信這些鈔票。這都是真正的美元，它們是從美國直接帶來的�！�
長篇的英語笑話帶翻譯話 10
The Two Words
What Are The Two Words？A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter．
“My dear，” said the old lady，“I wish you would do something for me．I wish you would promise me never to use two words．
One is‘lousy’and the other is‘swell’．Would you promise me that？ “Why，sure，Granny，”said the girl．“What are the two words？”
兩個詞
一個非常高貴的`老夫人有幾句話要對她的孫女說。
“我親愛的，”老夫人說：“我希望你能幫我一個忙。我要你答應永遠不要用兩個詞。
一個是‘討厭的’，另一個是‘極好的’。你能答應我嗎？” “噢，當然，奶奶�！迸⒄f：“是哪兩個詞？”
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