精彩搞笑短片英語笑話
媽媽在砸瓶子
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year-old daughter to answer the phone. The child said, "Mommy can't come to the phone right now. She's hitting the bottle."
一個婦人正在使勁打開番茄醬的瓶子。這時,電話鈴響了,她叫四歲的女兒去接電話。小孩說:“媽媽現在不能接電話,她在砸瓶子。”
The Nice Wedding Gift
We attended the wedding of an acquaintance's son. Because we did not know the young man or his bride, we decided to send them a practical household gift, a fire extinguisher. Apparently, the couple mass-produced their thank-you notes because we received a card saying: "Thank you very much for the nice wedding gift. We look forward to using it soon.
我們參加了一個熟人的兒子的婚禮。由于我們都不認識那個年輕人和他的新娘,所以我們決定送給他們一個實用的全家禮----一個滅火器。很明顯,這對新人大批量制作了他們的感謝信,因為我們收到了一張卡片,上面寫著:“非常感謝您的.漂亮的結婚禮物,我們期待著不久就用到它。”
The Use of a Handsaw
At the mall, my wife and I picked up some hardware items, including a handsaw. We were heading back to the car when we passed a steakhouse.
Let's try it. " my wife suggested. Although I felt a little foolish carrying the saw, I followed her inside.
Scanning the menu, my wife told the waitress, " I' 11 have chopped sirloin, please.
The waitress turned to me, eyed my saw and commented, "And I see that. you, sir, have come for our T-bone special.
在集市上,我和妻子買了一些五金用品,包括一個手鋸。我們返回汽車時剛好路過一家牛排店。 “我們嘗嘗吧,”我妻子建議說。盡管我覺得拿著鋸有點傻乎乎的,但還是隨她走了進去。 我妻子掃視了一下菜單對女招待說:“請給我來一份炒牛腰片。” 女招待轉向我,看了看我的鋸,說道:“我能看出,先生,你是來吃我們的T形骨特色菜的。”
A Woman's answer
A husband said to his wife, " Why did God create women to be beautiful but foolish?"
"Well," his wife answered at once." The reason is very simple. God made us beautiful so men would love us; God made us foolish so we would marry them."
一位丈夫對他的妻子說:“為什么上帝把婦女創造得如此美麗卻又愚蠢呢?” “噢,”他的妻子立刻回答道,“原因很簡單。上帝使我們如此美麗,男人才會愛我們。上帝使我們如此愚蠢,我們才會嫁給他們。”
Only One Eye to Settle On
The girl found the go-between and said, "You cheated me ! One of his eyes is not true. Why didn't you tell me this before ?"
"I have told you. " said the go-between with justice on his side, When you met first, I told you that he settled on you with one eye.
姑娘找到媒人,說:“你欺騙了我。他的一只眼是假眼,你以前為什么不告訴我?” “怎么沒告訴你?”媒人也不甘示弱,“你們第一回見面后,我就說,他一眼就看中你了。”
You May Select可以選擇
The husband complained that his wife always cooked the same dish.
One day, the husband got home and asked his wife, "My dear, what will we eat today?"
The wife said, "You may select the dish today."
The husband was very glad and asked, "Which dishes are there today?"
"Cabbage."
"The others?"
"None."
"Then how to select?"
"Eat or not eat!" the wife said.
丈夫抱怨妻子總是做同樣的一種菜。
一天,丈夫回到家,問妻子:“親愛的,今天我們吃啥菜?”
妻子回答:“今天你可以選擇。” 丈夫感到非常高興,又問:“都有哪些菜呢?”
“炒白菜。”
“還有呢?”
“沒了。”
“那你要我怎么選呢?”
“吃還是不吃!”妻子一本正經地說道。
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