經典幽默英語笑話大全
我們分享一切
An elderly couple goes to Burger King, where they carefully split a burger and fries.
一對老夫婦在漢堡王餐廳吃飯，他們小心翼翼地將漢堡和薯條分成兩份。
A trucker takes pity on them and offers to buy the wife her own meal.
一個卡車司機非常同情他們，就提議想給老太太單獨點一份。
"It's all right," says the husband. "We share everything."
“沒關系的。”老先生說，“我們分享一切。”
A few minutes later, the trucker notices that the wife hasn't taken a bite.
幾分鐘后，卡車司機注意到老太太還沒動口吃一點東西。
"I really wouldn't mind buying your wife her own meal," he insists.
他再次對老先生說，“我真的不介意請您妻子吃一頓……”
"She'll eat," the husband assures him. "We share everything."
“她會吃的，”老先生向他保證，“我們分享一切。”
Unconvinced, the trucker implores the wife, "Why aren't you eating?"
司機不太相信，懇求老太太，“你為什么不吃一點?”
The wife snaps, "Because I'm waiting for the teeth!"
老太太咂咂嘴，“我在等他的.假牙。”
I Am Going to Shop 我要去購物啦
“Cash, check or charge?” I asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
我幫來購物的女士包好東西后，問道：“是付現金、支票還是記賬呢?” 當她找錢包的時候，我注意到她的包包里竟放著一個電視遙控器。
“Do you always carry your TV remote?” I asked.
我問：“你一直都隨身帶電視遙控器的嗎?”
“No,” she replied. “But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him.”
她回答說：“不是啦。但我老公不樂意跟我一起來購物，所以我決定拿走他的遙控器來懲罰他。”
我為什么逃避手術
A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation.
一位男士在進行手術前被發現正沿著醫院的大廳逃離。
"What's the matter?" he was asked.
“發生了什么?”有人問他。
He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right.'"
男士回答道：“我聽見護士說，‘這只是一個簡單的手術。不用擔心，我相信不會出問題的。’”
"She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?"
“她這樣做是想讓你感到安心啊，有什么好害怕的?”
"She was talking to the damn doctor!"
“可她是在對那該死的手術醫生說!”
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