爆笑幽默精選英語笑話
Two Pieces of Cake 兩塊蛋糕
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!
湯姆：媽媽，我可以吃兩塊蛋糕嗎?
媽媽：當然可以----拿這塊蛋糕把它切成兩塊吧
空座位
Boy: Is this seat empty?
Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
男孩：這個座位是空的么?
女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也將是空的。
超速的司機A Speeding Motorist
A highway patrol officer stopped a speeding motorist. "Don't you know what the blinking lights and siren mean?" he demanded.
"Yes, sir," replied the driver.
"Then why didn't you pull over immediately?"
"I would have, officer, " the man said. "But last month my wife ran off with a policeman, and I was afraid you were bringing her back.
一位公路巡警截住了一個超速司機。“難道你不知道閃爍燈和警笛的意思嗎?”他責問道。
“知道，長官，”司機回答說。
“那你為什么不立即靠邊停車?”
“我本來想這樣做的，長官。”那男子回答說，“但上個月我妻子和一位警察私奔了，我是害怕你把她帶回來。”
你是怎么發財的'?
How did you make your fortune?
I became the partner of a rich man. He had the money and I had the experience.
How did that help?
Now he has the experience and I have the money.
我變成一個富人的合伙人，他有錢，我有經驗。
那有什么用?
現在他有經驗了，我有錢。
Quick Cleanup快速清掃
Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up. She put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom. Later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly. Then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. It read "Thank you for not looking in the bathtub."
不速之客就在路上，我媽媽，一個完美的家庭主婦，正忙里忙外地整理。她分配給我爸和我哥哥的任務是打掃供客人使用的浴室。一會兒之后，當她去檢查的時候，她吃驚了，曾經一度雜亂的房間瞬間就被打掃干凈了。接著她看到浴簾上有一張紙條，紙條上寫著：“謝謝你沒往浴缸里看。
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