中長篇附帶翻譯英語笑話
用過英文跟人家講笑話嗎?如果每用過的話，下面YJBYS小編就給您獻上幾段英文小笑話，讓你可以在朋友間用英文發揮出你的幽默。
無聊的課
One of my favorite teachers at Southeast Missouri State University in Cape Girardeau is known for his droll sense of humor. Explaining his ground rules to one freshman class, he said, "Now I know my lectures can often be dry and boring, so I don't mind if you look at your watches during class. I do, however, object to your pounding them on the desk to make sure they're running!"
在開普吉拉多市的東南密蘇里州立大學上學的時候，我喜歡的幾個老師之中有一個以他的幽默感而出名。給新生上頭一節課，他給學生解釋在他課上的紀律，他說：“我知道我的課經常會很枯燥乏味，所以我并不介意你們在課上看表。然而，我堅決不允許你們把表重重的'摔在課桌上，以此來檢查你的表是不是還在走。”
交通事故
A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign ... hit his car broadside, and knocked him cold. Passerbys pulled him from the wreck and revived him. He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics. Later, when he was calm, they asked him why he struggled so. He said, "I remember the impact, then nothing. I woke up on a concrete slab in front of a huge, flashing 'Shell' sign. And somebody was standing in front of the 'S.'
有個人開車行駛在上班的路上，一輛卡車闖紅燈從側面撞上了他的車，當時他就不省人事了。路旁的行人把他從車里拉出來并喚醒他。剛一醒過來，他就拼命的掙扎著，最后不得不用了藥物才讓他鎮靜下來。過了一會兒，他平靜了，別人問他為什么要這么恐怖的掙扎，他說：“被撞之后我就什么都不知道了，當我醒過來，我發現我躺在了路邊，前面是一個巨大的廣告牌上面閃爍著‘殼牌’，但是有個人擋住了那個“S。”
寫給上帝的信
A little boy needed $50 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $50. When the post office received the letter to God, USA, they decided to send it to the president. The president was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the boy a $5 bill. The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read: Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington, D.C., and, as usual, those turkeys kept $45 in taxes.
有個小男孩非常需要50美元，他為此禱告了數周但是什么也沒發生。后來，他決定寫封信向上帝索要這50美元。郵局接到這封信，想了想覺得還是應該交給總統比較好。總統被逗笑了，于是指示秘書寄給小男孩5美元，因為他覺得5美元對于一個小孩來講已經是不少了。小男孩收到了錢很高興，給上帝回了一封感謝信，信里寫道：尊敬的上帝，非常感謝你把錢寄給我。然而，我發現這些錢是通過白宮寄出的，因此，和往常一樣，那幫家伙收了我45美元的稅。
the woman who loves you most?
One evening I drove my husband's car to the shopping mall.
On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.When I finally entered the house, I called out.'The woman who loves
you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield.'
My husband looked up and said, 'Mom's here?'
一天晚上我開著丈夫的車去購物，回來后發現車身沾滿灰塵，于是擦洗了一陣。當我終于走進屋里時大聲喊：“世界上最愛你的女人剛擦洗了你的車燈和擋風玻璃。”
我丈夫抬頭看了看，說：“媽媽來了?”
Imitation 模仿
A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. Well, sit down and eat your tea, said his mother. Your stomach's hurting because it's empty. It'll be all right when you've got something in it.
Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of a headache.
That's because it's empty, said his bright son. You'd be all right if you had something in it.
一個男孩放學回家時，覺得肚子痛。來，坐下，吃點點心，媽媽說，你肚子痛是因為肚子是空的。吃點東西就會好的。
一會兒，男孩的爸爸下班回家了，說是頭痛。
你頭痛是因為你的腦袋是空的，他那聰明的兒子說，里面裝點東西，就會好的。
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