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英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話帶翻譯
會(huì)講笑話的人都是有好人緣的人，所以我們要多親近一些笑話大王們。現(xiàn)在小編也來(lái)當(dāng)笑話大王啦!小編給大家收集整理了英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話帶翻譯，一起來(lái)笑笑，收集好人緣吧!
篇一：英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話帶翻譯
開(kāi)窗
A gentleman was sitting quietly in a first-class compartment. Two ladies got in. One of them saw that the window was open and she shut it before sitting down."Open it again," said the second lady, "I'll die of suffocation(窒息，悶死) if there is no fresh air.""I won't open it," said the first lady, "I'll die of cold if the window is open."A querrel started, and it continued until the gentleman spoke:"Let's have the window shut until this lady has died of suffocation, and then we can have it open until this lady has died of cold. After that it will be nice and quiet in here again."
解決問(wèn)題的`好辦法 一位紳士正靜靜地坐在頭等包廂里，有兩位女士走了進(jìn)來(lái)。其中一位見(jiàn)窗戶(hù)開(kāi)著，就在落坐之前把窗戶(hù)“把窗戶(hù)打開(kāi)，”第二位女士說(shuō)道，“如果沒(méi)有新鮮空氣，我會(huì)被憋死的。” “不能打開(kāi)，”第一位說(shuō)道，“如果它開(kāi)著，我會(huì)被凍死的。” 一場(chǎng)爭(zhēng)吵開(kāi)始，沒(méi)完沒(méi)了，直到那位紳士開(kāi)口： “我們先讓窗戶(hù)關(guān)著，直到把這位女士憋死，然后再打開(kāi)窗戶(hù)，直到把這位女士?jī)鏊馈Ｄ且院�，這兒就可以恢復(fù)平靜了。”
篇二：英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話帶翻譯
Meet My Mistress
A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away.
His wife glares at him and says, "Who the hell was that?"
"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."
"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce."
"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it means that you don't get any more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Ferraris and Lexus's in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.
"Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife.
"That's his mistress," says her husband.
"Ours is prettier," she replies.
篇三：英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話帶翻譯
Don't You Like Any of Our Colours Today?
Mrs. Green was eighty，but she had a small car，and she always drove to the shops in it on Saturday and bought her food.
She did not drive fast，because she was old，but she drove well and never hit anything. Sometimes her grandchildren said to her，“Please don't drive your car，grandmother. We can take you to the shops.”
But she always said，“No，I like driving. I've driven for fifty years，and I'm not going to stop now.”
Last Saturday she stopped her car at some traffic-lights because they were red，and then it did not start again. The lights were green，then yellow，then red，
then green again，but her car did not start.
“What am I going to do now?” She said.
But then a policeman came and said to her kindly，“Good morning. Don't you like any of our colours today?”
格林太太八十歲了。她有一輛小型轎車(chē)，每逢星期六她總是開(kāi)著這輛車(chē)去購(gòu)買(mǎi)食品。
因?yàn)槟昙o(jì)大了，格林太太車(chē)子開(kāi)得不快，不過(guò)她開(kāi)車(chē)技術(shù)很高，從來(lái)沒(méi)有出過(guò)事。有時(shí)她的孫子孫女們對(duì)她說(shuō)：“奶奶，您別開(kāi)車(chē)了，我們可以送您去商店。”
但她總是說(shuō)：“不，我喜歡開(kāi)車(chē)。我已經(jīng)開(kāi)了五十年了，現(xiàn)在還不想撒手。”
上星期六，她看見(jiàn)交通燈是紅色就剎住了車(chē)。后來(lái)車(chē)子熄火了。交通燈由綠色轉(zhuǎn)為黃色，然后轉(zhuǎn)為紅色，又轉(zhuǎn)變?yōu)榫G色，可她的.車(chē)子還是發(fā)動(dòng)不起來(lái)。
“現(xiàn)在我該怎么辦呢?”她說(shuō)。
這時(shí)一位警察走過(guò)來(lái)，和氣地對(duì)她說(shuō)：“早上好，今天交通燈的顏色沒(méi)有一樣您喜歡嗎?”
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