英語笑話

時間：2020-09-12 10:24:52 英語笑話我要投稿

精選英語笑話4則

　　Traveling salesmen make their living visiting as many customers as possible. So speeding to get from one appointment to the next is not unheard-of. Which is how I got pulled over by a highway patrolman. "Don't you ever look at the speedometer?" the officer scolded. Before I knew it, the truth spilled from my mouth. "As fast as I was going," I admitted, "I was afraid to take my eyes off the road."

精選英語笑話4則

　　因為旅行推銷員為了謀生需要拜訪盡量多的客戶，所以超速飛車趕場對于他們來說也不是沒有過的事情。有一次我就因為超速度行駛被一個公路巡警攔了下來。“你有沒有看過你的時速表?”那名警官責問。當我的回答一出口，我立刻后悔了，但已經太晚了。“車開得越來越快”，我如實地說，“我的眼睛得一直盯著前面，沒敢看別的”。

　　Our manager at the restaurant where I worked was a much beloved, jovial man. But there was one subject you didn't dare discuss in front of him -- his height. or, should I say, his lack of it.One day, he stormed through the door and announced angrily, "Someone just picked my pocket!" Most of my fellow waitresses and I were speechless, except for the one who blurted out, "How could anyone stoop so low?"

　　我們的餐廳經理是一位深受大家愛戴，和藹而又快樂的人。但在他面前有一件事不能提--他的身高�；蛘�，我應該說，他是有點矮!一天，經理怒氣沖沖地撞門而入，高聲說，“有人拿了我的錢包!”

　　我和其她大部女招待都沒敢吱聲，但有人卻蹦出一句話：“哪有人能彎腰彎那么低的啊”!

　　I had fallen and dislocated my elbow, which made writing checks for my small business nearly impossible. I called my bank to explain that the signature on my checks would look odd due to my accident, and would they please horror them anyway.

　　"Okay," said the woman on the phone, "but you' 11 have to write a letter to the bank telling them that you are requesting this. "

　　我摔倒了，肘骨脫臼了。這使得我幾乎不能給我的小生意簽賬單了。我打電話給銀行解釋說由于事故，賬單上我的簽名看起來會有些古怪，并請求他們無論如何給予承兌。

　　“好的，”電話中的女子說，“但你必須給銀行寫封信，告訴他們你在作此項請求。”

　　Napoleon was ill

　　Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year."He's a good boy," said Jack's father, "and if you let him pass this time, I'm sure he'll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.""No, no, that's quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn't know!""Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack's father. "You see, I'm afraid we don't take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."

　　拿破侖病了

　　杰克到一所大學去學歷史。第一學期結束時，歷史課教授沒讓他及格，校讓他退學。然而，杰克的.父親決定去見教授，強烈要求讓杰克繼續來年的學業。“他是個好孩子，”杰克的父親說，“您要是讓他這次及格，我相信他明年會有很大進步，學期結束時，他一定會考好的。”“不，不，那不可能，”教授馬上回答，“你知道嗎?上個月我問他拿破侖什么時候死的，他都不知道。”“先生，請再給他一次機會吧。”杰克的父親說，“你不知道，恐怕是因為我們家沒有訂報紙，我們家的人連拿破侖病了都不知道。”

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