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諧音英語笑話大全笑破你的肚子
在日常學習、工作和生活中，大家對諧音英語都再熟悉不過了吧，下面是小編為大家整理的諧音英語笑話大全笑破你的肚子，希望對大家有所幫助。
You don’t have to pay for lightning
Teacher：Who can tell me the difference between lightning and electricity?
Student：You don’ t have to pay for lightning.
閃電不用付錢
老師：誰能告訴我閃電與電的區別?
學生：閃電不用付錢。
H o n e s t y
A man who is driving a car stopped by a police officer.The following exchange takes place...
Man：Whats the problem，officer?
Officer：You were going at least 75in a 55zone.
Man：No，sir，I was going 65.
Wife：Oh，Harry.You were going 80.(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)
Officer：I m also going to give you a ticket for your broken taillight.
Man：Broken taillight?I didnt know about a broken taillight。
Wife：Oh Harry，youve known about that tail for weeks.(Man gives his wife another dirty look.)
Officer：I m also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.
Man：Oh，I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.
Wife：Oh，Harry，you never wear your seat belt.
Man：Shut your dang mouth。
Officer：(Turns to the woman)：Ma am，does your husband talk to you this way all the time?
Wife：No，only when hes drunk.
誠 實
警官讓一位駕車的男士停下車。隨后出現如下的對話：
男士：警官，有什么問題?
警官：你在限速55英里的地段開到至少75英里。
男士：不，長官，是65英里。
妻子：啊，哈里，你剛才開到80英里。(男士瞪了妻子一眼。)
警官：我還要給你張罰單，你的尾燈碎了。
男士：尾燈碎了?你不說，我還真不知道尾燈碎了。
妻子：哦，哈里，幾個星期以前你就知道了。(男士又惡狠狠地瞪了她一眼。)
警官：我還要給你張傳票，你沒系安全帶。
男士：噢，你朝我車走過來的時候我才解開的。
妻子：啊，哈里，你從來都不系安全帶。
男士：閉上你的臭嘴。
警官：(轉向女士)夫人，你丈夫總是這樣跟你說話嗎?
妻子：不，只有當他醉了的時候。
He must have a computer
A mother was teaching her 5-year-old son about God. “Do you know, ”she said to him one day, “that God knows where everybody is all the time, and exactly what they are doing. ”The little boy looked at his mother wide-eyed and said, “Wow. He must have a computer.”
他一定有臺電腦
一位母親給她5歲的兒子講上帝�！澳阒绬�, ”有一天她對他說, “無論一個人在哪里, 在干什么事情, 上帝都知道�！毙∧泻⒈牬罅搜劬粗麐寢屨f, “哇。那他一定有一臺電腦�！�
Nice Try
My wife and I were stopped by a state policeman. He started to write up a speeding ticket. My wife, who’s a hair stylist, said, “If you let us off with a warning, I’ll give you a free haircut for a year. ”
The policeman removed his hat--and he was completely bald.
by Peter Orphanos
嘗 試
我和妻子被警察攔住了，他給我們開一個超速的罰款單。我的妻子是一個發型設計師，于是她就對警察說，“如果你讓我們免于警告，我就為你免費理發一年。”
警察脫下他的帽子——他是一個光頭。
Who is Disgusting
First：“My neighbor is very disgusting，who moved here recently，he rang the bell of my house with a rush late at night.”
Second：“It is disgusting in faith，do you call the police?”
First：“No.I just take him as a madman，and continue to play my piano.”
誰可惡
甲：“我家新搬來的鄰居好可惡，竟然深更半夜跑來猛按我家的門鈴�！�
乙：“的確可惡。你有沒有報警?”
甲：“沒有。我當他是瘋子，繼續彈我的琴�！�
諧音英語笑話大全笑破你的肚子
1. Why dont scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
2. Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side!
3. Why dont oysters share their pearls? Because they are shellfish!
4. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
5. Why cant your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
6. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
7. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!
8. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a shark? Frostbite!
9. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
10. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
11. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
12. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh!
13. Why dont secret agents sleep? Because they dont want to be caught napping!
14. Why was the computer cold? Because it left its Windows open!
15. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
16. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
17. Why was the elephant so tired? Because it was carrying its trunk!
18. What do you call a bear that eats nothing but lettuce? A vegetarian bear!
19. Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing!
20. What do you call a fish that rhymes? A lish!
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