令人噴飯的英語笑話精選
導語：生活是個大染缸，有悲苦有歡樂，大家都厭惡悲痛而親近歡樂，接下來小編就為大家整理了令人噴飯的英語笑話精選，希望能為大家帶來一絲歡樂。
令人噴飯的英語笑話精選
1 The warden of the prison felt sorry for one of his inmates because every weekend on Visitor’s Day, most of the prisoners had family members and friends coming, but poor George always sat alone in his cell. So one Visitor’s Day, the warden called George to his office and said, "I notice you’ve never had any visitors, George." Sympathetic, he put his hand on George’s shoulder. "Tell me, don’t you have any friends or family?" George replied, "Oh, sure I do, Warden. It’s just that they’re all in here!"
典獄長對獄中一位囚犯深感同情，因為每逢周末的探訪日，大多數囚犯都有家人或朋友來訪，但是可憐的喬治總是孤伶伶地坐在自己的囚室中。 因此在一個探訪日，典獄長把喬治叫到辦公室說：“喬治，我注意到從來沒有人來探望過你。”他滿懷同情地把手放在喬治的肩膀上：“告訴我，你沒有任何朋友或家人嗎?” 喬治回答：“喔!當然有，典獄長，只不過他們全都在這里面!”
2 Plagiarism
A friend of mine who teachs European history at Washington University in St.Louis tell about the time he spotted a plagiarized term paper.He summoned the student to his office."This isn't your work." he said."Someone typed it for you straight out of the encyclopedia.
"You cann't prove that!" the student sputtered.
My friend amiled and show him the paper.Circled in red was:"Also see article on communism."
抄 襲
我有個朋友在圣路易斯的華盛頓大學教歐洲歷史,他說有一次他發現了一篇抄襲的學期論文.他把那個學生叫到了辦公室.“這不是你寫的,”他說,“有人幫你從百科全書上原封不動地打印了下來.”
“你沒有證據.”那學生氣急敗壞地說.
我朋友笑了,他把論文拿給他看.用紅筆圈出來的是：“也可參閱共產主義一文.”
3 Virtue
Many years after receiving my graduate degree,I returned to the State University of New York at Binghamton as a faculty member.One day in a crowded elevator,someone remarked on its inefficiency.I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student.
When the door finally opened,I felt a compassionate pat on my back,and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me."You'll get that degree,dear," she whispered."Perseverance is a virtue."
美 德
獲取研究生學位多年以后,我回到位于賓翰頓的紐約州立大學當教員.一天,電梯里很擁擠,有人抱怨電梯效率太低.我說自我在那里當學生起,20年來電梯一直沒有換過.
最后當電梯門打開時,我感到有人在我的背上同情地拍了一下,回過頭來我看到一位年長的修女正在朝我微笑.“你會拿到學位的,親愛的,”她低聲說道：“堅持不懈是一種美德.”
4 Mr.Clark,I'm afraid I have bad news," the doctor told his
patient."You only have six months to live."
The man sat in stunned silence for the next several minutes.
"I can't possibly pay you in that time."
"Okay," the doctor said,"let's make it nine months."
九個月吧
“克拉克先生,有個壞消息,你只有六個月可活了.”醫生告訴他的病人.
病人驚呆了.“六個月我不可能付清醫療費.”
“好吧,”醫生說,“那就九個月吧.”
5 Difference
"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles."When I say,'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond,'Good afternoon." But the graduate students just write it down."
區 別
“研究生班和本科生很容易就能區別開來,”在洛杉磯加利福利亞州立大學給我們研究生上工程學課的老師如此說.“我說‘下午好’,本科生們回答說‘下午好’.研究生們則把我說的話記在筆記本上.”
6 Boxing and Running Dan is teaching his son how to box. As he does so, he left his friend, "This is a tough world, so I’m teaching my boy to fight." Friend: "But suppose he comes up against someone much bigger than he is, who’s also been taught how to box." Dan: "I’m teaching him how to run, too."
拳擊和賽跑
丹在教他的兒子怎樣拳擊。他告訴他的朋友：“這是一個粗暴的世界，所以我要教我的兒子怎么去拼搏。” 朋友：“如果他碰上的對手是一個比他高大，健壯而且也會拳擊的人怎么辦?” 丹：“我也會教他怎么樣賽跑呢。” 【令人噴飯的英語笑話】相關文章： 令人噴飯的英語笑話04-02 令人噴飯的經典英語笑話12-07 令人噴飯爆笑英語笑話04-05 令人噴飯的經典小笑話12-12 令人噴飯的爆笑笑話經典04-02 英語笑話04-01 精選英語笑話04-09 經典英語笑話12-28 超經典英語笑話04-02 英語短文笑話12-05