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取笑老美的英語笑話
當我們想要去取笑老美的時候，就要用到英語笑話。下次換你去取笑老美，就可以用到YJBYS小編為您整理的英語小笑話了。
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢.
“昨天給你的錢干什么了?”
“我給了一個可憐的老太婆,”他回答說. “你真是個好孩子,”媽媽驕傲地說.“再給你兩分錢.可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢?”
“她是個賣糖果的.”
Nest and Hair
My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.
"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .
"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "
Notes:
(1) inform v.告訴
(2) nest n.窩;巢
(3) description n.描述
(4) encourage v.鼓勵
(5) resemble v. 相似;類似
Logic Reasoning 邏輯推理
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.
"Here is the situation," she said. "a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yellin
g for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"
A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?"
邏輯推理
小學四年級的教師正在給學生們上一堂邏輯課.她舉了這么一個例子：“有這樣一種情況,一個男人在河中心的船上釣魚,突然失去重心掉進了水里.于是他開始掙扎并喊救命.他的妻子聽到了他的喊聲,知道他并不會游泳,所以她就急忙跑向河岸.誰能告訴我這是為什么?” 一個女生舉手答道,“是不是去取他的存款?”
[注]bank在英語中除了我們平時很熟悉的“銀行”之外,還有“河岸”的意思.
Have You Ceased Beating Your Wife?你停止打你老婆了嗎?
This story is told of a browbeating counsel,who habitually endeavored to terrorize his opponent‘s witnesses.
One witness rather tended to preface his replies with lengthy explanations.
“I want‘yes’or‘no,’”thundered counsel.“There is no need for you to argue the point!”
“But there are some questions which cannot be answered by‘yes’or‘no,’”mildly responded the witness.
“There are not!” snapped the lawyer.
“Oh,” said the witness,“answer this then：“Have you ceased beating your wife?”
這個故事講的是一個咄咄逼人的辯護律師,他慣于盡量去恐嚇對方的證人.
有一個證人有點傾向于在回答問題之前做冗長的解釋.
“我要你回答‘是’或者‘不是’,”辯護律師怒喝道： “你沒有必要就這個問題進行爭論.”
“可是有些問題無法用‘是’或者‘不是’來回答.”這位證人溫和地回敬他.
“不存在這樣的問題!”律師厲聲打斷他.
“噢,”證人說：“那么請你回答這個問題：“你停止打你老婆了嗎?”
Two Birds
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
兩只鳥
老師： 這兒有兩只鳥,一只是麻雀.誰能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀嗎?
學生：我指不出,但我知道答案.
老師：請說說看.
學生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀,麻雀旁邊的就是燕子.
"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
魚網
"你能告訴我魚網是什么做的嗎,安?" 老師發問道.
"把許多小孔用繩子栓在一起就成了魚網了." 小女孩回答道.
昨天夜里我爸媽表演“混合雙打”
Teacher of Physical Education: Have you ever seen mixed doubles,boys?
體育老師：孩子們,你們見過男女混合雙打嗎?
Nick: Yes,sir. Quite of ten. I saw it even last night.
尼克：見過,老師,經常見.就在昨天夜里我還見過呢!
Teacher: Please tell us some thing about it.
老師：那你給大家講講當時的情形吧.
Nick: Oh,sorry,sir. My father always says, "Domestic shame should not be published.”
尼克：啊,對不起,老師.我爸爸常說:“家丑不可外揚.
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