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搞笑小學(xué)生英語(yǔ)笑話（精選13個(gè)）
笑話來(lái)源于生活，經(jīng)過(guò)藝術(shù)加工的語(yǔ)言形式，是藝術(shù)化的語(yǔ)言。下面小編馬上為你帶來(lái)搞笑小學(xué)生英語(yǔ)笑話，希望你會(huì)喜歡。
搞笑小學(xué)生英語(yǔ)笑話 1
1、Dont Argue with Children
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that a whale swallowed Jonah.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
不要和小孩爭(zhēng)論
一個(gè)小女孩和她的老師正在談?wù)撚嘘P(guān)鯨魚(yú)的事情。
她的老師說(shuō)：“一頭鯨魚(yú)從身體構(gòu)造的角度看，是不可能吞掉一個(gè)人的。因?yàn)楸M管鯨魚(yú)是一種非常巨大的哺乳動(dòng)物，可它的嗓子非常小。”
那個(gè)小女孩說(shuō)約拿(一位西伯來(lái)先知)就是被鯨魚(yú)吞掉的。
她的老師非常生氣，她再次告訴小女孩說(shuō)：“從身體構(gòu)造角度來(lái)講，鯨魚(yú)是不可能吞掉一個(gè)人的.�！�
那個(gè)小女孩說(shuō)：“那等我到了天堂，就去問(wèn)問(wèn)約拿�！�
她的老師問(wèn)：“那么，假如約拿下了地獄怎么辦?”
那個(gè)小女孩回答：“如果是那樣的話，你就去問(wèn)他�！�
2、Wake Up Call
Bernard, who is noted for his gracious manners, was awakened one morning at four forty four a.m. by his ringing telephone. . .
"Your dogs barking, and its keeping me awake," said an angry voice.
Bernard thanked the caller and politely asked his name and number before hanging up.
The next morning at precisely four forty four a.m., Bernard called his neighbor back.
"Good morning, Mr. Williams.... Just called to say that I dont have a dog."
3、Be Careful What You Wish For
A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.
During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.
The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.
Next, it was the husbands turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, Id like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."
The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.
慎重許愿
一對(duì)結(jié)婚25周年的夫妻在慶祝他們六十歲的生日。他們恰好在同一天出生。
慶�；顒�(dòng)中，一位仙女出現(xiàn)了。她說(shuō)，由于他們是已經(jīng)結(jié)婚25年的恩愛(ài)夫妻，因此她給許給這對(duì)夫妻每個(gè)人一個(gè)愿望。
妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手�！皡�!”的一聲，她的手中出現(xiàn)了一張票。
接下來(lái)該丈夫許愿了。他猶豫片刻，害羞地說(shuō)，“那我想要一位比我年輕30歲的女人�！�
仙女拾起了魔術(shù)棒�！皡�!”，他變成了90歲。
搞笑小學(xué)生英語(yǔ)笑話 2
1.I Wasnt Asleep
When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"
"I wasnt asleep," the man answered.
"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."
"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."
我沒(méi)有睡著
當(dāng)一群婦女上車(chē)之后，車(chē)上的座位全都被占滿了。售票員注意到一名男子好象是睡著了，他擔(dān)心這個(gè)人會(huì)坐過(guò)站，就用肘輕輕地碰了碰他，說(shuō)：“先生，醒醒！”
“我沒(méi)有睡著�！蹦莻�(gè)男人回答。
“沒(méi)睡著？可是你眼睛都閉上了呀？”
“我知道，我只是不愿意看到在擁擠的車(chē)上有女士站在我身邊而已�！�
2.The poor husband
"You cant imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.
可憐的丈夫
“你根本無(wú)法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的難，”一個(gè)男人對(duì)他的朋友訴苦說(shuō)，“她問(wèn)我一個(gè)問(wèn)題，然后自己回答了，過(guò)后又花半個(gè)小時(shí)跟我解釋為什么我的答案是錯(cuò)的'。”Where is the father?
3.Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
父親在哪兒？
兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫(huà)。
“看，”哥哥說(shuō)，“這些畫(huà)多漂亮呀！”
“是啊，”弟弟說(shuō)道，“可是在所有這些畫(huà)中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢？”
哥哥想了會(huì)兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當(dāng)時(shí)正在畫(huà)這些畫(huà)唄。”
4.Does the dog know the proverb, too?
The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.
"Its all right," said a gentleman, "dont be afraid. Dont you know the proverb: Barking dogs dont bite?"
"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"
狗也知道這個(gè)諺語(yǔ)嗎？
一個(gè)小男孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。
“沒(méi)有關(guān)系，”一位先生說(shuō)，“不用害怕，你知道這條諺語(yǔ)嗎：‘吠狗不咬人�！�
“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎？”
5.一 Can we have our teacher back？
Once a superintendent of schools was visiting a three-room school. One room was very noisy, so the man grabbed a tall boy who had been standing up talking. He took the boy into another room and stood him in the corner. Five minutes later, a smalll boy came out of the first room and said, "When can we have our teacher back?"
能讓我們的老師回去嗎？
有一次，一位督學(xué)去視察一個(gè)只有三間教室的學(xué)校。一間教室非常吵鬧，因此督學(xué)抓住其中一個(gè)正在站著說(shuō)話的人，把他帶進(jìn)另一間教室，并讓他站在墻角。五分鐘以后，一個(gè)小男孩從第一間教室走進(jìn)來(lái)，問(wèn)道，“您什么時(shí)候能讓我們的老師回去呢？”
6. Whos More Polite?
A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down.
誰(shuí)更有禮貌？
一個(gè)胖子和一個(gè)瘦子在爭(zhēng)論誰(shuí)更有禮貌。瘦子說(shuō)他更有禮貌，因?yàn)樗?jīng)常對(duì)女士摘帽示意。但是胖子認(rèn)為他更有風(fēng)度，因?yàn)闊o(wú)論什么時(shí)候他在車(chē)上給別人讓座時(shí)，總有兩位女士能坐下。
7. Expensive Price
Dentist: Im sorry, madam, but Ill have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your sons tooth.
Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.
Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.
昂貴的代價(jià)
牙科醫(yī)生：對(duì)不起，夫人，為給您的兒子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。
母親：二十五美元！可是我知道您拔一顆牙只要五美元呀？
牙科醫(yī)生：是的。但是您兒子這么大聲地叫喚，他都嚇跑四位病人了
搞笑小學(xué)生英語(yǔ)笑話 3
1、How much English can you speak?
"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to
be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his
way around. Whats more, he only speaks a few words of English."
The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"
The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"
"法官先生，我的當(dāng)事人被指控偷竊，這是多么不公正啊。他一周前才來(lái)到紐約，幾乎不認(rèn)路。
而且，他只會(huì)說(shuō)幾個(gè)英語(yǔ)單詞。"
法官看了看被告，問(wèn)道："你會(huì)說(shuō)多少英文?"
被告抬起頭，說(shuō)："把你的錢(qián)包給我!"
2、老師哭了
The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled. His father knew it, but his grandma doted on(溺愛(ài)，寵愛(ài)) him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum(亂發(fā)脾氣) . Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmothers loving arms.
When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door. "Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? Did you cry?"
"Cry?" John asked. "No, I didnt cry, but the teacher did!"
六歲的約翰嬌生慣養(yǎng)。他的父親知道這一點(diǎn)，可他的祖父母仍然寵著他。這孩子幾乎寸步不離他的`祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是鬧。
他第一天上學(xué)才離開(kāi)祖母的懷抱。約翰放學(xué)了，他奶奶在門(mén)口接他并問(wèn)道：“學(xué)校怎么樣?你過(guò)的好嗎?哭了沒(méi)有?”
“哭?”約翰問(wèn)，“不，我沒(méi)哭，可老師哭了�！�
3、Hes just Been to the Zoo
When I was waitting in line at the bank , I noticed a woman holding a small child at one of the windows. The boy was eating a roll ,which he thrust at the teller. The teller smiled and shook his head.
"No, no, dear," said the boys mom. and then , turnning to the teller , "I beg your pardon , young man. Please forgive my son . Hes just been to the zoo."
他剛?cè)ミ^(guò)動(dòng)物園
當(dāng)我在銀行里排隊(duì)時(shí)，發(fā)現(xiàn)一位婦女抱著一個(gè)小孩站在一個(gè)窗口。男孩正在吃一個(gè)面包卷，并將面包卷戳向出納員，出納員笑著搖了搖頭。
“別這樣，親愛(ài)的，” 男孩的媽媽說(shuō)。然后她轉(zhuǎn)向出納員說(shuō)，“對(duì)不起，小伙子。請(qǐng)?jiān)徫业膬鹤�，他剛�(cè)ミ^(guò)動(dòng)物園。”
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